Nice post from w@w

I would like to post here the message a fellow wowie wrote to another fellow wowie regarding her problem. Her dilemma is this - she's not so sure if she will still go on with the wedding or not...
the message is so nice that i want it to share here.... (baka sakaling makatulong din sa iba who are experiencing the same problem)

I can empathize with you, as I too have been having bouts of cold feet thesepast months (and only 3 months more to go). Like you, I think of all thethings I have to give up to make our marriage work.I have always been independent-I've been living on my own since I was 16.I'm used to having things my way, to looking out just for myself. Also, Ifeel that at this point, my career is on the way up; I feel like I'm on thebrink of achieving my dream, and I've worked very hard to get here. I alsohave plans, like getting my master's degree, that have had to take the backseat now that I'm preparing to get married.

I think of the lifestyle compromises that I have to make-like now that canafford it, I have a maid and Gil can't stand having one; I adore my two dogsand cat, and Gil hates furry pets; I live on bread and pasta and Gil can'tlive without rice and "real food" (the stuff I like to cook and eat arepang-restaurant lang daw).I think of the daily routine-ness of it, when you live with someone sevendays a week. The little quirks that you have to get used to, the annoyances,and the sheer presence of someone else in your space. And yes, the fact thatas the wife, it's my role to be the 'help-mate' to my husband's leader role(I truly believe in the biblical principles of marriage, and the fact thatGod created us to fulfill different roles in a marriage).So yes, that's a lot of change and sacrifice.

Then I try to think of it from Gil's point of view. His quiet, orderlyexistence is about to be invaded by my flightiness and clutter. His ref isabout to be filled by things he won't eat. His clothes will have to move toa smaller closet to make room for mine (hehe). He has to learn to live withdogs. He has to think about me when making decisions also. Most of all, hehas to lead me and our family. And that isn't easy.It's a matter of coming to a mutual understanding. I won't say compromise,because that sometimes implies that one loses out on something when acompromise is made. It's a matter of looking out for the interest of someoneelse before yours. This is very hard to do. It takes practice, especiallyfor someone like me. I admit I've always had the tendency to be selfish andself-centered.Marriage needs not only in lifestyle, but change in attitude. It needscommitment. It needs effort. But most of all, I believe that it needs God.I know that sometimes things will be so rough that Gil and I will both be sotired of making our different personalities and lives meld, and our marriagework. But I'm not that worried, because I know we're both committed tohaving God at the center of our marriage. And that's what I hold on to. Iguess during those hard times, it will sometimes be more obedience to Godthan love for spouse, but I believe God has us covered.I believe that marrying Gil is in God's plan for us. How else would we havegotten together? This isn't just something that we say to justify why we'regetting married, but it's something that's been affirmed by the peoplearound us. They know us and they've seen the positive changes in our livessince we've been together.

So when I get cold feet, I just pray for a change of attitude, a differentoutlook, a more godly perspective on things. It's easier said than done, Iknow. But God's still working on me. ;p

So Hershey, I'd like you to know that I'm praying for you. I pray that youfind God's peace in your heart that you're making the right decision. I praythat you find the strength and the grace to stand by your decision everyday.And most of all, I pray that you always remember that God has the bestplanned for you. You just have to believe in him.Sorry if this has been way too long. And if it sounded preachy. But I hopeit made sense, and helped you even a bit.